If Demigods had iPhones
by DorkyConverse
Summary: What if Demigods had iPhones? They would be texting eachother a lot. But they never heard of "Auto correct". Join the gang in this funny story about the messed up conversations, twisted sayings, and hilarious auto corrects. Rated T for mature language.
1. Chapter 1

**If Demigods had iPhones…**

**Messed up conversations, twisted sayings, and hilarious auto correct texts. **

**Conversation 1: Percy and Annabeth**

Percy: Leaving in 5. Preheat the ocean to 425.

Annabeth: Haha. That might take a while and severely damage the fish supply…and your Dad… :)

Percy: Fuck this phone, I mean *OVEN*

Annabeth: Haha ok Percy.

**Conversation 2: Jason and Piper**

Piper: Come over to cabin 10 if you can

Piper: Leo's outside trying to fuck the door and it isn't pretty.

Jason: what the hell are you talking about?

Piper: Just what I said

Piper: Fix the door! Oh my gods! Not the other thing. Leo would never do that.

Jason: LOL im ROFL! Ok, I cant be there til 2

**Conversation 3: Katie and Travis**

Katie: Hey! You wanna come over to cabin 4 and play with my clit?

Travis: …is this a trick question?

Katie: Oh gods! No I mean vtech!

Katie: I just got a vtech and I know you wanted one

*Katie sends pic of vtech*

Travis: so your saying that I cant play with your clit…

**Conversation 4: Connor and Clarisse**

Connor: hey Clarisse! How'd you do on the Archery test?

Clarisse: I failed, prissy. :(

Connor: HAHAHA FAIL! :D

Clarisse: you know what else is a fail?

Connor: Wut

Clarisse: Hermes's condom.

Connor: -_-

**Conversation 5: Connor and Travis**

Connor: hey did you know mom's trying to get in touch with you?

Travis: yeah she pissed me off yesterday, so I stabbed her.

Connor: YOU STABBED HER?

Connor: Have you lost your freaking mind?

Travis: I meant I ignored her. I didn't stab her. Fuck you auto correct.

Connor: oh my gods.

**Conversation 6: Thalia and Nico**

Thalia: Blahhhh I feel like total crap. I'm so sick.

Nico: Aw I'm sorry to hear that babe.

Nico: if you want, you can come over and lay on my cock.

Thalia: Gods you have such a one track mind. I said I'm sick.

Nico: I swear to the river styx I meant couch.

Thalia: hahahahahahahahaha 3

**Conversation 7: Leo and Jason**

Leo: I just porked my hot Archery teacher

Jason: I hope you get an A in her class now

Leo: poked, on facebook.

Leo: I did not pork her

Jason: big diference bro

Leo: duck this auto cumulonimbus

Jason: LMFAO that's a rain cloud

**Conversation 8: Leo and Piper**

Leo: how was breakfast? What did you get?

Piper: it was good, I ate a nutsack.

Piper: I ATE A NUTSACK

Piper: Fuck off phone, I ate the short staff

Piper: THE FUCKING SHORT STACK OF PANCAKES

Leo: sounds filling. Lol

Piper: shut up. -_-

**Conversation 9: Clovis and Annabeth**

Clovis:

._.

Clovis: look it's a whale

Annabeth: you have no social life, do you?

Clovis:

._.

Clovis: baby whale

**Conversation 10: Piper and Leo ( I know, but this one fits it well)**

Leo: Hey… just wanted to let you know that Jason is sleeping around

Piper: WHAT THE FUCK WITH WHO

Piper: Is it Drew? I knew it. I'm going to fucking castrate him. Can you help me put the fire?

Piper: he's fucking insane, isn't he

Leo: wow sorry I meant he is sleeping already. Not around-

Leo: I'm sorry I freaked you out…

Piper: Gods damn it Leo

**So? How do you lick it? God dammit, see? Typo. I mean like. He he…. I was just wondering… if demigods really had iPhones, but iPhones has this barrier, so the monsters wouldn't hear the signal. Ha, be brave my little marshmallows, **

**~AJ**


	2. Chapter 2

**OH yeah! Thanks for all the reviews guys! This chapter the GODS have iPhones too! So the gods are corresponding with demigods!**

**Conversation 11: Percy and Athena**

Percy: hey Lady Athena

Percy: Question: can I have my cock out of your Parthenon?

Athena: PERCY. That is disgusting. I'm on Olympus. Call your idiot father. You're not being funny, and STAY AWAY FROM ANNABETH.

Percy: Oh my gods sorry…

Percy: I wrote cook out. The camp is having a cook out in front of the Parthenon in Athens.

Athena: Your idiot father should've taught you better than this.

Percy: IT WAS AN GODSDAMN AUTOCORRECT

**Conversation 12: Zeus and Thalia**

Thalia: What's new on Olympus? Anything fun?

Zeus: Eh, same old, same old.

Zeus: Did your brother tell you that he got AIDS this semester?

Thalia: WHAT? WTF? No one told me. I'm calling you.

Zeus: sorry not AIDS. All A's- not sure what happened. My phone changed it.

Thalia: Oh thanks the gods. I was about to go to cabin 1 and yell at Jason for having AIDS. WOW DAD WOW.

**Conversation 13: Ares and Clarisse**

Ares: how's Camp half-blood?

Clarisse: great, how's everything back at mount Olympus?

Ares: so far so good, taking care of your Rottweiler pussy. Thought I pulled a dick out of your pussy.

Clarisse: A what out of where?

Ares: a tick out of your puppy. Dammit.

Clarisse: LOL dad.

**Conversation 14: Athena and Malcolm**

Athena: where are you?

Malcolm: coming to mount Olympus, just got suspended.

Athena: GODS DAMN IT MALCOLM. What did you do now?

Athena: I am really pissed off.

Athena: you're in big trouble, mister.

Malcolm: whoa mom. Chill out. I got suspenders. For dad for his birthday.

**Conversation 15: Aphrodite and Piper**

Piper: hey mom can you do me a favor?

Aphrodite: hi what's up?

Piper: can you help me get this tampon out?

Aphrodite: Piper are you serious? You're almost 16. Call your doctor if the string broke.

Piper: OH MY GODS WTF no that is not what I meant

Piper: I wrote tangle, there is a huge knot in my hair from swimming with Leo and Jason! Lol haha funny!

**Conversation 16: Leo and Katie**

Leo: everything is ok with your bed. The screws seem to be in place, but the back board is a little loose. And don't worry! Have fun at the party! I wasn't invite anyway…

Leo: oh and PS, I smelled your panties on the way in. THEY. SMELL. LIKE. HEAVEN.

Katie: LOL LEO! Reread your text, LMFAO

Leo: Pansies! Oh my gods, that was embarrassing. I swear I would never do that to you.

Katie: sure Leo… sure… and get away from my panties! Lol! Hahaha!

**Conversation 17: Poseidon and Percy**

Poseidon: where do you want me to hang up these photos of the sea by Ansel Adams?

Percy: please put that one in the cabin, above the black blowupdoll

Percy: oh gods

Poseidon: Black blow up doll, eh? Where's that exactly?

Percy: no dad I'm sorry.

Percy: the black bureau

Poseidon: let's pretend this convo never happened.

Percy: got ya dad.

**Conversation 18: Annabeth and Athena**

Annabeth: There's a burglar in my cabin!

Athena: OH MY GODS CALL CHIRON IM COMING INTO CAMP HALF BLOOD RIGHT NOW

Annabeth: No there's a burglar in my cabin!

Athena: I know I'm coming. Annabeth call Chiron I'm coming there.

Annabeth: there's a S P I D E R in my cabin!

Athena: a spider? Are you kidding me? Go call Chiron.

**Conversation 19: Demeter and Katie**

Demeter: Hello Katie if you are not busy, I would love it if you could munch on my box later

Demeter: MUNCH on my box like we talked about on Monday

Demeter: OH Crap.

Katie: Uh…

Demeter: m u l c h my garden box please thanks love mom.

Katie: haha wow mom.

**Conversation 20: Hera and Ares**

Ares: Hey mom, dad broke his arm.

Hera: OHMYGODS is he ok? What happened?

Ares: he slipped and fell on the black dick

Ares: the black dick I mean

Ares: the back dick

Hera: why is Zeus riding black dicks? LFMAO! Do you mean "back deck"?

Ares: yes black dick. Passed out on pain pills now.

**LOL I loved all your reviews except one, and this is just a funny story I just made up, so I could totally do whatever I can on my story, so yeah. **

**Lol if you're getting an iPhone for Christmas or somewhat later, be prepared for the battle of auto correct. I'm getting one soon, but I'm waiting for the iPhone 5 to come out in the summer. **

**Be brave my little marshmallows, (especially if you're gonna get the iPhone 4S or 5)**

**~AJ**


	3. Chapter 3: Extra convo and CONTEST O3O

**Gosh...I am so sorry, I haven't uploaded since forever. ****I love PJO, as you all know that. But...has anyone seen an anime show called "Axis Powers: Hetalia"? It's a really funny show. ****Yeah. I love that show, especially Both of the Italies! But, if i had to chose one of the Italies... it would have to be Romano (South Italy). Hence, my username. ^_^ So enjoy this one, i hopw it;s funnier than the others! **

** OH! I forget to mention, stay tuned at the end for a special contest! :D**

* * *

><p><strong>Conversation 21: Connor and Travis<strong>

**Connor: **I'm a gangster. I'm a straight up G, the hamster life is the life for me.

**Connor: **STUPID AUTO CORRECT!

**Travis: **Been Spendin' most of their lives in the hamster paradise.

**Connor: **Please don't make fun of me...

**Travis: **Shooting people by day, selling drugs by night, livin' the hamster life is hella tight.

**Conversation 22: Hermes and Travis**

**Travis:** Hey Dad.

**Hermes:** Hey son.

**Travis:** Can you pick Katie and I from Italy (*Wink-wink*)? We teleported there and Connor took my teleportation power.

**Hermes:** Of Course! I'll call you.

**Hermes:** I'm pounding ass right now, and I'll be there when I'm done.

** Travis:** ...

**Travis:** Pounding ass? I know we're close, but that a little TMI...

**Hermes:** PUMPING GAS! GAS! PUMPING GAS!

**Travis:** LMFAO

**Hermes:** Sweet Jesus, that was horrible...

**Conversation 23: Nico and Hades**

**Nico:** Hey dad...I have something to tell you...

**Hades:** Yes, what is it?

**Nico:** I hate how when I walk into my cabin and my cock is glowing...It looks like a big green blob floating around in there.

**Hades:** ...That's nice son...

**Nico:** OH GODS! CLOCK! CLOCK! CLOCK! OMG, that was a fail...

**Hades:** So...you need a new clock, huh?

**Conversation 24: Percy and Nico**

**Percy:** Where should we go on Friday night? Dammit, if I don't have kitchen duty...

**Nico:** I don't know, dammit. Maybe we should go to that I Taliban place downtown New York.

**Percy:** WTF! WHAT PLACE? Death to America!

**Nico:** Oh Shit, I mean the Italian (*wink-wink*) place!

**Percy:** Parmesan, Allah willing? ;)

**Conversation 25: Annabeth and Thalia**

**Annabeth:** I'm going out. You need anything?

**Thalia:** Where you headin'?

**Annabeth:** Going to Barnes & Noble, gonna have some buttsex

**Thalia:** ...okay...is that what you do now since you broke up with Percy?

**Annabeth:** BOOKS! BOOKS! And Percy and I never broke up!

**Thalia:** ...Nico told me...

**Annabeth:** Ugh...Nico had a little crush on me when we first met.

**Thalia:** Ohhhhh...

**Conversation 26: Annabeth and Percy**

**Annabeth:** Hey how was Nico's presentation on the dead at the congress?

**Percy:** It was good. Took him to McDildo's to celebrate.

**Annabeth:** Oh good!

**Percy:** LMFAO! MCDONALDS! LOL XD

**Annabeth:** Oh my gods, I didn't even notice that!I am laughing so hard right now!

**Conversation 27: Leo and Jason**

**Jason:** ... I'm bored. :P

**Leo:** Better watch out cause I'm gonna fart in your mouth and make it stank

**Jason:** O-O WTF.

**Leo:** I meant in your cabin. LOL

**Jason:** LOL

**Conversation 28: Thalia and Nico**

**Thalia:** Hey, watcha doin'?

**Nico:** choking on semen

**Thalia:** O_O WHAT THE FUCK?

**Nico:** Oh, WTF, I mean cooking Ramen.

**Thalia:** Oh, okay! BAHAHAHA! I WAS LAUGHING SO HARD!

**Nico:** ...shut up...

**Conversation 29: Percy and Travis**

**Percy:** Watcha doin?

**Travis:** Wating for Katie's tits to get ready so we can watch the movie.

**Percy:** O_O tits? LOL

**Travis:** OH shit, TOTS. Tater tots. Her homemade tater tots. Potatoes as tots!

**Percy:** Nice autocorrect. XD

**Conversation 30: Piper and Katie**

**Piper: **I look forward to the day without blowing minors...

**Katie: **Minors? sounds sexy... :)

**Piper:** MY NOSE! My nose was bleeding all day! I hate blowing my nose!

**Katie: **Lol, that's what they all say... :)

**Piper: **It was my nose, I swear!

**Extra* Conversation 31: Percy and Clovis**

**Clovis: **nanananananannananananananana BREAST MILK!

**Percy: **...Isn't that what babies use to fall asleep? YOU'RE NOT A BABY! D:

**Clovis: **OMG! **Batman**! geez...

**Percy: **OMG OMG OMG lololololololloloolo

**Clovis: **Autocorrect FTW

**Percy: **This is the best conversation I have ever been in :D

* * *

><p><strong>So, I added an extra one for you guys to make it up. Sorry. Well, enjoy. I'm not really active that lately. busy with school projects and such. :| yeah...<strong>

***CONTEST* O3O**

**So. ****I have created a contest. yup. a contest. I want anybody who would like to enter this contest leave your answer in your review! :D**

**Here is the contest: **

**_Create an autocorrect idea that is original, all made by you. You can choose any two characters from the Percy Jackson books. _**

***RULES***

**- Has to be original**

**- Cannot steal any other people's auto corrects**

**- If you do, you will be disqualified in the contest**

**- Have fun! make me want to laugh my ass off**

***PRIZES***

**_Note: OC's are allowed. Just PM me if you want your OC to be paired with somebody or have two of your OC's together. ^_^ _**

**- 1st Place -**

**- Oneshot: choose any two characters; also choose the genre  
><strong>

**- Songfic: your choice for the song**

**- Lemon: choose any two, three or four characters (optional; just tell me you don't want a lemon and i'll understand. :) a lot of people aren't perverted, unlike me) AND script of two people having a conversation: you choose the characters; genre too  
><strong>

**- 2nd Place - **

**- **Oneshot: choose any two characters; also choose the genre****

****- Songfic: your choice for the song****

****- **Lemon: choose any two, three or four characters** _OR **script of two people having a conversation: you choose the characters; genre too (ONLY CHOOSE ONE)**_****

****_**- **_**3rd place ****-******

**- **Oneshot: choose any two characters; also choose the genre****

****- Songfic: your choice for the song****

**THERE WILL BE HONORABLE MENTIONS, TOO! THE PEOPLE WHO DIDN'T WIN, BUT ARE HONORABLE ENOUGH TO GET A SHOUT OUT! :D**

(I will PM you if your prizes are ready.) **CONTEST ENDS MAY 13TH! :D have fun thinking! **


	4. Chapter 4: Author's Note

**WELL…Fellow people…It comes to me that the contest is ending soon…Really sad, but you got a month to enter. Contest ends May 13****th**** 2012! **

**By June, I will be able to Finnish your guys' prizes. :D So don't get worked up about it. Yeah. **

**Just to let you guys know. PM me or just do your review. :D**

**Just to let you guys know, I pick the top 6 best auto corrects, and I let you guys leave in your review which one is your favorite. :D**

**Oh yeah, HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO ME! A week ago… XD (I'll give you a free lemon(virtual or story-type; whichever you want) from me! I'm just bored these days. Tell me exactly you want with the details if it's story type).**

**So, I'll be back on May 13****th****! See you guys soon! Hurry, the contest doesn't last! **


	5. Chapter 5: Top 6

**Happy mother's Day, guys! Now, Please vote on which 2 auto corrects you like the best. Now, Vote! **

**Contest is over. I will not be accepting any more auto corrects. **

**If you are the creator of any of these, You can vote for yours if you want, too! **

**Auto correct #1:**

Grover: hey Percy come sit next to me and Juiniper

Percy: I aint sitting next to that ass

Grover: 0_0

Percy: I ment Grass, the grass where you are sitting

Percy: I have hay fever

Grover: LMAFO

**Auto correct #2:**

Katie: Have you ever been camping?

Travis: Nah. I'm more of a city boy.

Travis: Too much work.

Katie: You should try it. Babies taste good.

Travis: ...

Travis: WTF? CANNIBAL!

Katie: No! I meant breasts!

Travis: O.O Oh my dear effing gods.

Katie: Holy shit this damn auto correct is a bitch!

Travis: Katie. Do you need to talk it out?

Travis: LOL

**Auto correct #3: **

nico: are we still going streaking tonight?

thalia : WHA ?

nico: auto correct again ...

thalia : goop thats a realese

nico : i meant to say SKATING

thalia : this auto correct is a bag of ritz

nico : crackers?

thalia : you know what i meat

**Auto correct #4:**

Poseidon: Hello annabeth how is it going with you and my son?

Annabeth: Good thanks, lately we've been oraling each others bits, Ive got to say, percys are amazing!

Poseidon:OMFG you've been having oral sex with each other? your moms gonna kill my poor percy! I've got to warn him!Actually, ive tasted percy before and he is quite good...

Annabeth:WTF I meant we've been BORROWING each others BOOKS! and seriously? You taste your own son? Thats incest, haven't you gods heard of it before? Holy zues, jeez!

Poseidon:ummmm llets forget this conversation ever happend, k?

Annabeth:Nooooooooo! ive got to tell percy!

Poseidon: im sorry annabeth, you've got to forget this conversation.'waves hand'

Annabeth:what just happened?

**Auto correct #5: **

Percy: Hey Annabeth, remember to fuck before you enter your cabin. Jason put an electric dildo there.

Percy: *Fuck *Dildo

Percy: Fuck and Dildo I meant

Annabeth: Ewww! Gross, Percy!

Percy: I MEANT FUCK AND DILDO!

Annabeth: I know! That's why I said gross! Gods...

Percy: DON'T ENTER YOUR CABIN! YOU HAVE TO FUCK AT THE ELECTRIC DILDO!

Annabeth: AWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWWW! FUCK YOU PERCY!

Percy: I told you to fuck under the electric dildo...

Percy: . Fuck under the electric dildo

Percy: GRRRRRRRR! DAMN IT AUTO ERECTION

Percy: AUTO ERECTION

Percy: ARGH! AUTO ERECTION!

Annabeth: You meant duck under the electric pillow and damn the auto correction.

Percy: HELL YES! FUCK THE STUPID DOGS.

Percy: *DOGS

Percy: GODS!

Annabeth: You mean duck or do you mean fuck this time?

**Auto correct #6: **

Percy and Athena:  
>Percy: I love to lick Annabeth's **!<br>Athena: I WILL KILL YOU, PERSEUS **SON  
>Percy: OMGs! OMGs! I MEANT I LOVE ANNABETH'S THICK WIT! PLEASE DON'T KILL ME!<br>Percy: I'm sorry!

Percy:Hello?

Percy: Lady Athena?

**Those are all. Vote for your favorites! ^_^ You should vote like this: **

"I liked Auto correct #_ and #_ the most."

**^^ that's how your suppose to do it. Now, keep in mind that this was really hard to pick. My friends Black,roses,are,my,thing001 and JNoodles141 helped me pick out the top 6. I also got help picking these out from professional help. My grandma got me professional help from a comedian in Hawaii! XD (My grandma is rich and I'm her favorite grandchild) **

**So, please don't get mad at me. I didn't pick these out by myself. I got three other people help me. And I'm very sorry if your's didn't get in. **


End file.
